not just random

“You got any more furniture lately?”
“No, not really.”
“Yeah, the couch was a pretty big step.”
“Actually …”
“???”
“Well - we are considering investing into a coffee table.”
“For real?”
“No kidding.”
“Whoa.”
“What?”
“That’s big.”

I know. But it’s true. Seriously looking. What do you do with one? No one here drinks coffee. We can spread some books on it. Have a place to spill a drink. It’s something to place into the empty space right in front of the couch. I am still new to this.

Maybe it’s just another place to collect stuff. Most tables I know are good at collecting bills, papers, books or magazines. Things look important, then messy, finally they just sort of blend in with each other and disappear. You won’t be able to find a thing until you decide to clear everything off the table. Fascinating.

“You guys have chairs?”

The word alone can bring back vivid and unfortunate memories of previous housing arrangements. I seem to recall entire neighborhoods haunted by swarming pests of ladybugs, for long, long months at a time. When the bugs weren’t busy invading your living quarters they would hide in the walls or ventilation spaces and, well, mulitply just to come bug (no pun intended, haha) you later again and again and again and …. Here is a great way to reproduce the experience. Pay no mind to the obviously fun-hating reviewer (”For the love of God! Do not release the ladybugs.”) - he or she is just being a drama queen. You probably won’t understand, just how bad this is, until you tried it. Why don’t you give it a shot? Somewhere far, far away from me?

Ever been to a casino? Strolled down the rows of slot machines? Noticed the compulsions? The hope and occasional happiness? Yeah, it’s definitely there. Naturally you can find excitement, enthusiasm, sometimes luck. Some people do win, hit it big, be stars for a night.

I never quite understood those who calmly sit in front of their machine, almost bored, as the LCD is blinking the word Jackpot. No, they are not jumping up and down, going crazy, embracing the thrill of unexpected riches. Maybe they have seen it all before, maybe they lost more than they won, maybe they can all but wallow, incapable of displaying emotion beyond a lazy nod, having been degraded to senseless blobs by their gambling addictions or whatever other hells their lives may harbor.

It’s hard to tell.

I was clearly unprepared for what happened to me - the bright cold blink: Jackpot.

Too tired to quite follow my own actions I had inserted some cash, bet a maximum amount and pressed a button several times until the machine stopped. Simply refused to let me play any longer.

It’s not straining the speakers with the load Soundtrack of a Winner. No, nothing, but that steady blink: Jackpot. Irritation gives way to understanding as I count and multiply. Moments later staff is there, counting a wad of cash into my outstretched right.

Not congratulating me, not shaking my hand, she’s not interested in my autograph, offers no bottle of champagne and doesn’t seem to think of notifying the press.

She is gone as quickly as she came, my wallet not quite twice as thick and we decide to leave.

I am trying to justify my lack of emotion - it’s late, been a long day, I am just sooo relaxed, haha - but it impresses me nonetheless. The walk to the motel is short, we spend a couple moments staring at the winnings and then go to bed. Thankfully, I don’t need to worry about it as I am sleeping. My dreams are equally unfazed by all this. Numb.